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... fights a carseat

Mrs. Dykowski ...

If you are a parent you already know how this story is going to go.

My baby has outgrown her click-and-go infant seat and has graduated to a convertible carseat.

It’s a marvelous invention that keeps kids safer longer and I’m certain has saved numerous young lives.

But I’ve never wanted to throw something in the street, light it on fire and dance around the ashes as much as the convertible carseat I’m currently using.

The following is based on a true story:

Attempt 1: I use the latch system to install the seat. I can’t get it tight and it’s sitting up too straight. Start over.

Attempt 5: I’ve used a towel to correct the angle but still can’t get the latch belt tight.

Attempt 37: I’ve tightened the seatbelt to secure the car seat, the angle is perfect and it’s snugly installed, but the shoulder belt is making it lean to one side.

Attempt 233: I pull and pull and the seat is still loose.

Attempt 3,453: I break my flip flop getting out of the car to test the tightness (it’s still not right) and have to change shoes.

Attempt 9,832: I can no longer see the carseat because my blood pressure has risen so high that my vision is gone.

Attempt 42,241: I am blind, lame, dizzy and dehydrated, but the carseat is installed in and ready for baby.

One hour into a five-hour trip, baby throws up.

I quickly pull into a closed Dairy Queen parking lot and Scott and I tag team the clean up.

I discover I have to uninstall the car seat to clean it and long for the days of covered wagons.

7,980 install attempts later we are back on the road.

At our destination I discover the car seat is leaning again and still smells terrible.

Also the seat has apparently evolved and is now smarter than me.

Installation success on attempt 452,934.

Carseat burning party TBA.

Sarah Dykowski is the wife of Publisher Scott Dykowski. She can be reached at composing@dublincitizen.com .

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