The Publisher's Desk: I'm going to be a 10-Millionaire

You will never believe what happened to me last week. 

A distant relative from London died and left me almost $11 million. Ya’ll, I’m now a 10-millionaire. 

I’m prepared to take everyone out for chips and salsa. Everyone. 

I’m especially glad that Hugh Albanesse contacted me. He’s “a partner at EVAGREEN LLP, a London based Law Firm” (sic). 

He notified me that I have a “Late Eng. Arthur Dykowski,” who worked with “Energy Company” in London. 

He left a policy with a, “top Life Insurance Company in London,” for “Ten Million Nine Hundred & Fifty Thousand Seven Hundred and Seventy Seven Dollars.” Lucky me. 

Apparently my distant relative, I’ll call him Arty, died seven years ago in an accident in London. 

And somehow, all efforts to find any of my Polish relative’s ancestors in both London and Australia have been fruitless. Imagine that. 

Lucky for everyone, Mr. Albanesse found me and is offering to add my name to the policy, since I “share the same last name and nationality with the deceased.” That’s Arty. 

I can have the money as long as I agree to share 10 percent of the money to charity. 

“The remaining 90 percent will be shared between us,” Mr. Albanesse assures me. 

I’m sure he’s a topnotch London lawyer. He even cares about my feelings. 

“Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day.” (sic) Top notch, indeed. 

He even made a point to bold my name throughout. 

“Dear Dear (sic) Scott Dykowski,” the letter begins, with my name in bold. 

And when he references the “Late Eng. Arthur Dykowski,” he even bolds only the last name. 

It makes me feel really special. 

The best part is, he wants me to have access to the money as soon as possible (though it may take up to 30 business days), so he sent the letter over through the Dublin Citizen fax. 

I have to be honest, I expected an official letter in a sealed envelope (maybe even with one of those wax seals — very British in honor of Arty). But once I realized how long it would take for a letter to cross the seas and reach me here in Texas — what do you think, a week? — I felt relieved Hugh sent it over through fax. 

I’m afraid my plans to take everyone to chips and salsa will have to wait at least 30 business days, though. 

In the meantime, perhaps you can watch the “Scamalot” videos on YouTube.  

It’s a British guy (I believe) who responds to email scams and annoys the scammer’s so much they ask him to stop emailing them. And all he really wants is a toaster. (Watch the Scamalot video titled “Toaster” for the reference.)

After I showed my letter to Paul, he showed me the toaster video. Very funny, and a good testament to how annoying, and possibly dangerous, these scammers are. Happy watching. 

Scott Dykowski is the publisher of the Dublin Citizen and can be reached at 445-2515 and publisher@dublincitizen.com.
 

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