Mrs. Dykowski... looks forward to Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is almost here. I know Scott and Darci are plotting something special for me, but I can’t figure out what it is. 

Needless to say, I can’t wait. 

Despite my eager anticipation and my love of gifts and attention, I can’t help but think of all the ways I haven’t earned the many honors of Mother’s Day. 

There are several things I do that the moms on all the greeting cards wouldn’t approve of. For example last week I twice played rock-paper-scissors with Scott to see who had to change Darci’s diaper. 

Side note: I lost three games and still somehow convinced Scott to change one of the diapers. 

I’m pretty sure Mother’s-Day-greeting-card moms don’t negotiate and manipulate their way out of diaper duty.  I’ve also been trying to convince Darci she doesn’t need me in the room with her to fall asleep, so I try to trick her by sitting on the floor by the door where I’m mostly hidden by the changing table in hopes that she won’t notice when I slip out to go watch “Parenthood” on Netflix with Scott. 

Is it ironic that I’m trying to make my kid need me less, so I can go watch other people parent on T.V.?
She’s not falling for it, but I still just keep trying. Speaking of T.V., I’m sure the greeting-card mom, would use an evening without Dad to teach her daughter something fun but useful, like baking.

I introduced Darci to Audrey Hepburn movies, and we shared some leftover Easter Kit-Kats, even though bedtime wasn’t far away. With chocolate running down our chins we drooled together over Audrey’s beautiful wardrobe. Well, Darci may have just been drooling over the chocolate. 

Either way, it was a bonding experience. Right?

I think Darci really enjoys some of my mom fails. I packed an overnight bag for her last week, even though I planned for us only be gone for the day, just in case. 

After a long day of driving, then jumping right into a busy work week. I left it packed in the living room for a few days. 

Naturally, she figured out how to unpack it herself all over the house, playing dress up with the extra clothes. It was too cute for me to interrupt, so rather than pick it up and put it all away, I just took photos and videos of her trying to dress herself and sent them to my parents. 

I did confiscate her toiletry kit with the baby lotion and nail scissors in it, though. Don’t worry — I’m not a complete failure. 

I’m glad Mother’s Day isn’t just for greeting-card moms because, well, I’m not one. 

I’m also glad I’m not married to the guy on the Father’s Day cards — there’s no way that dude changes dirty diapers. 

Sarah Dykowski is the wife of Publisher Scott Dykowski. She can be reached at composing@dublincitizen.com

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